Complaining Is Not A Conversation

The buzzing all around. It’s the hum around the office.  The one on ones at home after the kids go to bed.  Drinks with friends.  A catch up call with your sister in law.  They all sound similar.  If you stop and listen you’ll realize the seemingly ordinary conversations happening throughout your day are really constant complaints. Complaining is not a conversation.  You might think, well what does it hurt to spend time complaining or expressing your dissatisfaction?  Simply?  Complaining does not support your journey to be happier.

A handful of reasons not to complain:

  1. Complaining becomes a habit – It’s likely it’s already a habit for you and you’re going to have to work your ass off changing that.  But not only does it become a habit for you, it becomes a habit for those around you.  Your children, spouse, employees, co-workers, running partner, friend, just to name a few.  Complaining is a habit that makes you pessimistic.  You start by complaining about things that have happened and then it turns into pessimism about the future.  You think about the future in the perspective that it is going to be the same and you aren’t going to like it, so you start talking about it before it’s even here.  Which leads me to my next point…
  2. Complaining is a waste of time – When you’re complaining about an upcoming event that you think you won’t like, there’s a chance that what you’re anticipating won’t even occur.  It may never even happen.  If that ends up being the case, then there was no reason to waste any time mulling over the idea that you were going to feel discontentment… that you never did.  How’s that for wasting time?
  3. Most complaining is non-productive – How do you know if your complaining isn’t productive?  First, ask yourself if you’re even talking to someone who has the power to change the circumstances going forward.  Chances are, you’re not.  If you’re not actively trying to fix a problem and you’re not getting anything else done either while you’re kvetching, you’re holding yourself back.  You’re inhibiting your progress, possibility, and happiness.  Think about all of the things that cross your mind that you wish you could be doing, or could get done at any given moment.  You want to finish up a project at work, you have always wanted to check out a local spot that everyone raves about, the garage needs organized, the house could be picked up, you should really catch up with that friend you haven’t heard from in a couple months.  We constantly think of things that need our attention, our time, and things we crave to do just for the joy of it.  You have the ability to open up time to be more productive if you cut out the complaining.
  4. Complaining attracts negativity into your life – Because spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better!  Remember, in my post Awareness is the First Step, being negative only attracts more dissatisfaction into your life.  When you’re complaining, you’re sending out negative vibes, and what you send out comes back to you.  It’s almost the complete opposite of what you’ve always believed.  When you complain you think you’re expressing what you don’t want.  The universe doesn’t hear you though.  The universe works like this: what you speak of you want more of.  And the more you complain, the more Miss Universe gives you to complain about.

    “If you want something to dissipate, don’t talk about it.  Don’t discuss it.
    Don’t bring it up.  Don’t think about it.” – Abraham Hicks

  5. Finally, complaining is exhausting – For you and for those that have to hear you.  Dissatisfaction causes us to feel many emotions, including stressed, overwhelmed, and sad.  Complaining causes you to re-feel all of the emotions and thoughts that you connect to something that you see as negative in your life.  Do yourself a favor and don’t do that to yourself.


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